Kink-Informed

Each therapist has a unique ability to provide different types of counseling –this is my stance and where I come from to practice kink therapy:

When I was in college and finally decided to be a mental health counselor, I specialized in human sexualities and planned to be a sex therapist.  I worked in a local sexual assault service center initially.  My internship was with a sexologist, and I was even able to attend a training with Dr. Domeena Renshaw, program creator for Loyola’s sex therapy clinic in Chicago.  I taught a semester of “Sex Therapy” at Benedictine University with my supervisor and later completed a fellowship with a SOMB Clinic (a group that treats registered sex offenders).

Also, as a counselor for men and first responders, there was and is no way to skip SEX therapy!  What I have learned is that testosterone is a major hormonal experience that happens to children a.k.a. boys.  As a culture, we really do not acknowledge, let alone talk intelligently about this.  We have a boys will be boys mentality, and we rarely go beyond that.  As a result, boys can develop so many secrets and insecurities about sex, and later in life it can all come crashing down.  I can clinically address this in your therapy.  I believe attaching in a relationship while in a masculinity-culture and testosterone-driven mindset from an early age is a transition to adjust to in this modern world.

Besides that, I can tell you that many men have some sexually confusing and sometimes assaultive sexual beginnings.  It’s not uncommon for men to disclose about sexual experiences with siblings, cousins, neighbors, and peers.  Dare I say there’s a bit of a norm in disclosing the babysitter story or something horrific, like being molested or raped by a peer or an adult.  I know I have not heard it all, but I can tell you I am a great, empathetic listener who will not judge you.  We can examine how your early or recent sexual experiences are bothering you or shaping your desires –and your kinks today.  We can also do trauma-informed therapy if needed.

My background has equipped me to serve as an effective counselor for both individuals and couples within the LGBTQI community, as well as those engaged in BDSM or kink practices. I offer a supportive, kink-aware approach and can assist clients in differentiating between behaviors such as acting out, catharsis, trauma processing, and sex that is both evolved and intelligent.

I no longer work with sex offenders; that requires specialized treatment under SOMB guidance. I am also not experienced in supporting individuals who are transitioning. My focus is on kink, BDSM practitioners, lifestylers, openly LGBTQI individuals, and polyamorous couples.

Utilizing evidence-based modalities, I support clients in processing early sexual experiences, managing sexual insecurities, and addressing relationship dynamics that impact intimacy. My approach is trauma-informed and respects your pace, ensuring safety and empowerment as you work through sensitive topics. Whether you need guidance in sexual education, want to address sexual trauma, or are exploring alternative lifestyles, my goal is to provide a safe space where you can heal, grow, and embrace your authentic self.

I provide sex therapy with a compassionate, nonjudgmental approach that recognizes the complexity of human sexuality. My practice is grounded in both education and experience, focusing on helping individuals and couples understand their sexual needs, resolve issues related to intimacy, and foster meaningful, healthy sexual relationships. As a kink-informed and LGBTQI-friendly therapist, I tailor sessions to address the unique concerns and goals of each client, whether you are seeking to overcome trauma, navigate sexual confusion, or simply enhance your intimacy and pleasure. Together, we can explore your desires, unpack past experiences, and develop strategies to build trust, connection, and satisfaction in your sex life.

Trauma-informed counseling for sexual traumas is a specialized approach that recognizes the profound impact that sexual trauma can have on an individual’s emotional, psychological, physiological, and relational well-being. This method prioritizes safety, trust, and empowerment, helping survivors feel heard and supported as they process complex feelings and memories.

By integrating trauma-informed principles, I focus on understanding the effects of trauma, reducing re-traumatization (repetition compulsion), and guiding clients through healing at their own pace. Together, we can address the lingering effects of traumatic experiences, develop coping strategies, and foster post-traumatic growth so you can regain power and move forward in your life.  I can and do provide EMDR to desensitize and reprocess the trauma, and help calm the nervous system.

Kink-informed relationship therapy is designed to support individuals and couples who engage in BDSM, kink, or alternative sexual practices like polyamory. My approach is nonjudgmental and affirming, recognizing that these lifestyles are valid expressions of intimacy and personal identity. In sessions, we explore communication strategies, consent, boundaries, and safety within kink dynamics, helping partners foster trust and deepen connection.

I help clients navigate the unique challenges that can arise in kinky relationships, such as negotiating roles, understanding power exchange, and managing jealousy or vulnerability (compersion-focused counseling). Together, we work to create a safe space for honest discussion, growth, and healing, whether you are new to kink or experienced in the lifestyle.